It was a huge surprise and blessing when Daniel and I found out that we were pregnant. I had been told by my doctor that it would be very difficult for me to become pregnant because of fertility issues, so we were overjoyed when we found out we were expecting a son.
But on April 9th, 2010 our world was devastated when we lost our baby. I was 24 weeks along when I had to have an emergency caesarian section due to complications including a severe infection. I was so ill, weak and heartbroken. I felt like I was in a horrible nightmare just praying to wake up.
After two months, my body had finally healed from the infection. I began to wonder if I would ever have another child. What would I face if I became pregnant again, and could anyone help keep me from losing another child?
The doctors explained that it was still possible for me to have children, in spite of the complications. But, they cautioned me that I would be in the high risk category. A future pregnancy would require a planned C-section, a surgery to prevent me from going into preterm labor again, and increased medical care. They also said there was a risk of my uterus rupturing if I got pregnant again too soon, which would be fatal. I was advised to wait at least two years before trying to conceive, or I would be risking both the babies life and my own.
I felt hopeless. Slowly, through the love and comfort of my family, Daniel, and my own faith and strength I began to recover both physically and emotionally. I started seeing a counselor. I exercised regularly. And, I began to recover.
Sooner than anticipated, we found out that we were expecting another baby and had to make some very difficult choices. Early in my pregnancy, I was referred to Step by Step for maternity support services. Sarah, my Step By Step case manager was an angel. She counseled me throughout my pregnancy. It wasn’t long before I was put on bed rest and Sarah stepped in to take care of all my paperwork. She brought me gifts and food, and told me I could call her anytime. She came to my house to see me and had a nurse come to check on me.
I still don’t know if Sarah understands to the full extent how crucial she was in helping me through my pregnancy. My condition was so delicate that having to get up and handle the things that she handled for me could have compromised my pregnancy and my life. Step by Step and Sarah were truly a Godsend for me, and I am tremendously thankful for them.
My daughter Ava Joy was born 7 pounds 5 ounces on April 19th, 2011, almost exactly one year after her brother came into and left our lives all too quickly. Although she could never replace my son or take away the pain that I feel from losing him, she makes every day happier and brighter.
My daughter is now one year old, and she is the most amazing little person I have ever known. I am getting ready to graduate soon with my BA in Applied Psychology. I hope to someday work with mothers who have suffered similar losses or who are going through similar circumstances that I did. My future is bright and I am thankful for my daughter, my family, and for the people who helped me along the way. Thank You!